22 August 2010
9:22:00 PM __________________________________________

we fool ourselves time and time again.
little tricks aiding us to perceive the world,
as (if not anything) marginally different
from the world of another.

like a blue rose waiting in a desert,
for a sultry performer to masquerade by
an unpretentious offer.

take what i know to be true,
i wish no ownership of it (in being it).

help me to look into your eyes once again,
let me feel as i did on a certain chancing.
i need to tell you the truth now.
i ventured into the promiscuity

of possibility.

i shouldn't have, i know i promised,
but what was i to do?
like the slaves of the orient-
young, touched and known,
lay prepared for the invading white,
i too could concede no such preponderance.

you need to know however, it failed.
i failed.
i felt nothing-
realisation hit like a brick,
he (you) carries the key.


__________________________________________

i'd brand it on my neck if i could.
tell the world, what we have.

sometimes i wonder,
if i'm really the cause of all this,
if it's not natural to want.

i ask myself why i'm cringing,
the answer stands before me, so clear-
i would do so much more.

because it burns inside
and we would think talking it out
would make everything okay,
but i'd just end up the lesser;
it'd be because of me.

but isn't that what it should be like?
(shouldn't we dream)
shouldn't we brand it on our necks?


13 August 2010
12:47:00 AM __________________________________________

it's the first of the month,
yet my sheets stay unclean.
i find myself staring at the ceiling, lying in bed.
dreams so fresh reeling from my subconscious.
i struggle to grasp my flight of rationality,
sweetly lulled departure from my pillow,
deluding reality from passionate desire.
maybe that's why i write essay after essay,
stretching my primal instincts over
carefully constructed arguments.
i say what i say because i fear,
because what stared back at me was marred
with imperfection i know you don't deserve.
does it shock you to know i'm scared.
one desire,
in an effort almost sacrosanct yet ultimately human.
open your mouth, speak.
i struggle to find solace in the consolation i conjure,
for deed will never replace the warmth of a verb.
that i may never be that tall or brooding,
that i may never be able to take you by the arm
and fly you to journeys i cannot even piece
in my unsaturated minefield of a heartbeat.
with pen and heart
so calmly projecting everything i think i can be,
the only way i know how.
yanking breath and streaming paralysis,
as i tear my eyes awake from this world
i never was meant to be a part of.


03 August 2010
11:28:00 PM __________________________________________

i close my eyes to see the beauty all around
glimmering stars grounded by tranquil waters
i fell in love five years ago
yet even though another chapter unfolds
i still love like i did as you did
everyday you remind me it mattered
because even today you won't speak to me
i close my eyes and wonder how the silence
in your dimmed pupils
spoke tales so common yet unspoken
if all that we experience is a decision
then i know i've chosen hands outstretched
naked and grasping the same air
you maybe breathed or serenaded your face
orange peeled heart
layer after year of fibre removed
regrown but never forgotten
i fell in love five years ago
i close my eyes to taste the salted dreams
undulating in the scars of space and reality
warping around who i thought i could be
(who you'd like me to be)
i'll be silent
so you too with eyes closed can see what i see
so should the dusty winds of existence
mattering only to the you that you'd let yourself be
wisp by this foolish songbird so blessed
i'd learn to graze a melody only we know
in closed eyes in eyes closed


10 July 2010
10:27:00 PM __________________________________________

shrivelled, a doorknob
awaits to be touched, skin

so high compared to little fairies
whispering, secrets in my ear

frozen on my pillow, kiss
secrets to the pale skinned

silence swimming in my ear
i see your scent wallowing,

completely enshrouded in the
blinds of twilight,

i distinguish
alps from trees from gazing into,

the eyes of stars, like a furnace
incumbent point, of your fingers


08 July 2010
10:26:00 PM __________________________________________

delicate embrace breaking
strings

tongue on
passion's pedestal
(no i don't)

believe in the running road
third world patronage
sorely gazing
on another murky sunrise

fuming bullets
lulling to bed

yet another
paralysed dreamer
confusing moon

with moon


05 July 2010
5:44:00 PM __________________________________________

the sand that dances around my feet
fleeting breeze caressing my neck
such aimless steps that guide me

to the closing gates you've ordered
my feet are painted red
i trace the steps that linger in your return

pensive fire, sweetened tears
meandering through the circus of dancers
whose feet beat rhythm and rhythm

throbbing down my neck
throb dimmed in a farce
indelicate swoon by the censured moon

i bear a scar on my forehead handed by you
pearls that string together a key
to the closing gates you've ordered

past candles and lights, with chimes and bells
the tinkling of the heartbeat we once shared
blemishing in the beauty of it's foolish age

blinded bellows borrowing
what will never be, or has in the death wish
of my every step of a river into a sea

the beetle stays afloat
in the water lying on it's back
with feet painted red


03 July 2010
11:40:00 PM __________________________________________